I’ve been working from home for about 2 months now, since just before the beginning of the UK lockdown on the 23rd March. Recently, my emotions have been in a constant state of flux. I’ve spent a lot of my extra time thinking and reflecting, whilst also trying to remain positive.
This lockdown has really humbled me; I’m a very sociable person, but with a tendency to be a part-time homebody. I also like to be in control, and tend to schedule my life weeks in advance. It has been hard to go from a full calendar to one that’s relatively blank. However long social distancing goes on for, I do think that it is important to not just settle into old habits once it is over, but carry forward some key life lessons.
How you spend your time during lockdown is up to you – after all we are in the middle of a pandemic. This post isn’t about being productive or using all your “extra” time to learn something new. That being said, and as much as I want this period to end, I’m a firm believer that “we should grow through what we go through”.
And so, these are my main lockdown lessons…
1 – Reflect on the things that you can be grateful for.
Being grateful, even during a challenging time, is key to remaining positive alongside many other mental health benefits (see some of the science here). I have several blessings that I can count; I woke up today with a roof over my head and I am in good health.
Gratitude turns what we have into enough.
Aesop
To help me practice gratitude regularly, I’ve started a gratitude journal, I’ve sent some lockdown letters to some of my close friends to show my appreciation for them, and most importantly, as a Christian, I regularly thank God in my prayers for my life.
2 – It is okay to slow down and pause for a while.
There is no harm in slowing life down to stop for a moment. Life moves so fast and it can be hard to escape from the ‘always-on’ culture. Normally, I rarely take breaks or time out (unless I’m on holiday), because I place too much value on being busy, which leaves me at risk of burnout. I do practice self-care regularly, but I rarely stop to just do nothing.
This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.”
Isaiah 30:15
I have struggled with doing nothing during the lockdown weekends, and I think the missing factor is the intention. When I am intentional with my downtime and personal time, I can enjoy it much more and reap the full benefits of relaxation without getting bored. I should continue to invest in quality idle time, and take time out of my day or week to just pause and breathe, even if only for a few seconds.
3 – Remember to live in the present and do things that bring you joy.
It is important to do things, even the little things, that bring joy. I know I like to plan for the future, but this should not be at the expense of being present and living in the moment. I designate a lot of energy to my career and professional development, which is great, but this should not come at the expense of my personal life. I need to place a higher priority on myself and my wellbeing in the present moment.
We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own ‘to do’ list.
Michelle Obama
Some of the small things bringing me joy in this period include listening to music and singing along, reading a book on my patio, or organising a virtual activity for my friends and family.
4 – Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
All too often I invalidate my own emotions by judging myself or trying to bypass them. However, feelings do matter and emotions do have a purpose. Being in a global pandemic, on top of other things, will inevitably mess with my feelings and my head. Bottling up these emotions is only going to do more harm than good, and I’ve had to give myself time to process and to just feel, without denigrating myself or trying to “fix” my feelings.
I honour myself as who I am and where I am at.
Anonymous
Asking for help is something out of my comfort zone, but I’ve reached out to friends during this period to help me, and they’ve reminded me that it is okay to feel my feelings and that my feelings do matter. Putting the pandemic aside, I am only human, and with humanity comes emotion, even if that means having a cry from time to time to release some of that emotion.
5 – Be kind to yourself.
I am guilty of being my own harshest critic, and get particularly annoyed when I’m unproductive or lack focus. I have always believed in myself, but this sometimes results in holding myself up to impossibly high standards. There’s no need to be this harsh on myself, especially when I give my friends the opposite advice.
Whilst I am unable to hug my friends and family due to social distancing (I’m a hugger so the struggle is very real), I should at least hug myself, metaphorically, and show kindness and love to myself. I should continue to extend the compassion that I show to other people to myself.
You, yourself as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
Buddha
I was sceptical about positive affirmations at first, but after giving them a try, I’m a firm supporter. Writing them down or saying them out loud provides perspective and encourages positivity.
I am looking forward to things returning to normal, whatever that looks like, and seeing my friends and family in real life rather than through a video camera. However, I will try my best to not get too caught up in life and to take my own advice. It all comes down to self-awareness which I do have. I need to use this self-awareness to ground myself and make good choices. By writing this post I’ve made a commitment to myself, and can hold myself accountable to these documented lessons.
So, now it is your turn to reflect; what are the key life lessons that you want to carry forward from this period?