2020 has been a year for the history books and we’re only just over halfway through! Although it feels like not much has happened over the last few months, I wanted to make sure I captured some of my thoughts for my future. So I decided to write a letter to myself: starting with my 5 lockdown lessons, setting out some basic goals, and showering myself with compliments and self-affirmative statements. It was a fun exercise allowing me to positively reflect on my current life and start planning what my ideal future in the “new normal” would look like. Please read on if you would like some tips on how and why to write a letter to your future self.
Why should you write to your future self?
Human beings are forgetful by nature. A lot has happened in the last few months, but there might be one event, achievement or topic that you want to make sure you don’t forget. Capturing minor details in a letter can preserve your memories without commanding extra brainpower.
You also might have a vision for the future that you would like to manifest. There may be goals that you want to spell out that are for your eyes only. When you open a letter from the past, you can use it to hold yourself accountable to the goals you have set. If you achieved your goals, the letter could be a positive reminder of how far you have come. If you did not achieve them or you forgot, the letter could serve as prompt to give you the extra kick that you need. Even if your goals, priorities or beliefs have changed, a letter can provide a track record that you can refer to. Understanding the changes in your goals over time can contribute to self-awareness but also provide some fun food for thought.
All in all, writing to your future self should be positive. Positive self-talk is important for self-validation, confidence and motivation. A letter from the past could present itself as a pep talk. We often express love for others but should take more time to express self-love to ourselves. My friends gas me up all the time, but you know what feels even better – when I gas myself up. Internal validation has been an important part of my self-love journey. Don’t let the space-time continuum constrain you. Use your letter to transport that self-love through time in a non-linear way.
What should you write to yourself?
At the end of the day, you can write anything that you want as long as it is true to you. The only fixed rule I would suggest is to include a reference to the date of writing. However, if you still don’t know where to start, I am here to help. At the very beginning, don’t forget to greet yourself, and it doesn’t have to be formal. In my letter, I was tempted to address myself as Queen Ugochi or Mamagoch (one of my many nicknames). I decided to use Ugochi as this was less cringe-worthy. Anyway, use the name that feels natural to you.
Predicting the future
To warm yourself up, you could start your letter with a memory that is guaranteed to make you smile. Make sure that you report all the important details, no matter how small. Feel free to share your current beliefs and define the things that you want to see in your future. Speak your future into existence if you will. Remind yourself of the goals you want to achieve.
You could even make a prediction about what you think the world may look like. From driverless cars on the road to a society with a new grassroots political system where party politics are overthrown, the world is your oyster. You might even think that by this time next year, the Queen may elope to marry her dark-skinned black lover. Your predictions can be as realistic or outlandish as you want. After all, they are yours.
Encourage yourself
I spent a large proportion of my letter writing down words of encouragement. I paid myself many compliments as positivity is always uplifting. I didn’t go so far as in writing a love letter to myself, but that is definitely an idea I have parked for next time. Use the opportunity to write to your future self to motivate and encourage yourself.
Provide unsolicited life advice
You could always provide advice to yourself, or remind yourself not to repeat past mistakes. Wisdom does not always come with age. Maybe you always repeat silly mistakes – so think about including those mistakes in the letter too. Whether you’re telling yourself to stop writing essays to Yahoo boys or to floss every night, make sure you @ yourself. Yes, your future self may feel attacked. But sometimes we all need that to eliminate bad habits.
Ask yourself probing questions
If you’re still struggling for ideas, below are some of the probing questions I answered when I wrote my letter to myself:
- Are you truly proud of the person you are today?
- What have you learnt from this period and what do you now want to forget?
- What hopes do you hold for yourself in the future?
- What pieces of advice do you have now that would be useful to you in the future?
- What challenges do you wish to overcome?
- What are ways that you can ensure that you love your future self no matter how much the future differs from your expectations?
- And finally: have you found a husband yet? (That question is for my grandma’s benefit)
How should you send this letter?
As I see it, you have 3 main options:
- Place the letter in a self-addressed envelope with an open date written on the front
- Give the letter to someone else to hold for you until the open date
- Use an online service, such as FutureMe
If you want to handwrite your letter, I would suggest options 1 or 2. If you go for option 1, make sure you keep the letter in a safe place and set a calendar reminder in your phone. If you don’t trust yourself to keep it safe, option 2 might be better, as long as you trust the person not to open it and also not to forget.
If you want to type your letter, you could print it for options 1 and 2, or go for option 3. FutureMe allows you to send a free message via email at a future date of your choice. This is what I used for my letter, but I may switch it up in the future. I opted for FutureMe over other services because it has been around since 2002, so they have a good track record and are likely to still be around in a couple of years. If you do use FutureMe, make sure your letter is set to private (this should be the default option but please double check). Also back up the letter on your computer, in case anything does go wrong with the service. If you do need some more inspiration, feel free to read some of the public letters on their website.
Now, it’s over to you
Hopefully, I’ve convinced you to write to your future self. I’m sure that your future self will appreciate opening the letter once you get the chance.
To recap:
- Write the letter to yourself
- Refer to my tips if you’re unsure of what to include in your letter
- Choose the exact date in the future when you would like to receive it
- Send or save the letter via your chosen method
- Live your life and make it happen
So now it’s time to get writing! It will be a fun experiment and you might be surprised at just how much has changed once you have received your letter. Think of it as a present to yourself. Until time travel becomes realistic, this might be your best bet at talking to yourself from different realms of time.